It is said the person who commits suicide is a coward. He lacks the proper moral and emotional orientation and therefore rightly deserves to take leave from this world which is for the brave hearts. I have mentioned the word ” moral” because in many cultures it is believed suicide is an abomination to the Gods, and the one who commits suicide, his body is not just banished from this earth but his soul too has no place in the land of gods- Heaven.
These traditional views, no doubt, are pronounced in the best interest of the society. The society is a harsh place to live as such, but when your micro society that is your family too becomes your biggest cause of misery then the world seems meaningless and barren. Often suicidal ideation comes to you, but is it a solution? I often wonder and wait and contemplate.
This leads me to think whether the saying that” it is only the cowards who commit suicide” is credible or it is just a moral boosting capsule.
Rather, I really wonder at the courage of those who take such an extreme step. To be disgusted with the world and the people around you is understandable; considering my situation. But to be disgusted with oneself requires a self-hate attitude. We all love ourselves and hate those who make our lives miserable then how can one find a solution in suicide?
To commit suicide is to destroy oneself but what have we done wrong that we find suicide as an excuse for our helplessness?
During tough times at home, when my indifferent and abusive father hurts me and my otherwise supportive mother breaks down in helplessness, i have often brought a knife close to my wrist but never had the guts to touch it to my skin. This is where i lack the guts.. facing the crisis, never required that much of guts than hurting myself. This makes me think- to what extent one can be self-destructive and be filled with self-hatred that one can take such a step?
Does anyone have an answer?